16/4/2014 . 19,986 notes . Reblog

caught:

Today we’re going to go on a class trip! *hands out acid*

16/4/2014 . 258,699 notes . Reblog

houseofhannibal:

madame-vashtranerada:

houseofhannibal:

dash is named dash because he runs really fast

violet is named violet because ultraviolet rays are invisible to the human eye

so what’s jack jack’s name got to do with his power

jack of all trades because he has so many powers

OH

16/4/2014 . 34,791 notes . Reblog

lifehackable:

maybe the grass is always greener on the other side because it’s fertilized with bullshit

16/4/2014 . 4,774 notes . Reblog
  • person: OMG YOU DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE TEST???!?!?!
  • me: nope
  • person: BUT HOW ARE YOU GONNA PASS???
  • me: i'm not
16/4/2014 . 63,929 notes . Reblog

officialunitedstates:

officialmexico:

texas

no you can’t have it back stop asking

16/4/2014 . 197,858 notes . Reblog
In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

16/4/2014 . 88,920 notes . Reblog

ellendegeneres:

Happy Classic Joke Wednesday!

16/4/2014 . 15,562 notes . Reblog

shutupaubrey:

i’m skilled in the culinary art of microwaving 

16/4/2014 . 227,939 notes . Reblog

clannyphantom:

mary had a little lamb

whos fleece was white as snow

it went out to a club one night

and dropped it hella low

16/4/2014 . 185,913 notes . Reblog